"You see, it's that sort of thing," Eric said, pointing at the screaming passengers. "That's why I don't want to ride roller coasters."
Little Falls Theme Park roared around them. A metric ton of corn dogs were being sold every day to children and adults, stuffed toys were being won and lost at the bounce of a ring or baseball, and the morning sun danced through wispy clouds.
"But they're screaming because they're having fun," Eric's girlfriend Nora said. "It's exciting."
"They're scared," Eric said. "People die on roller coasters."
"You're more likely to die driving in a car," Eric's friend Kenneth said behind him.
"I-" Eric pointed his chin in the air. "Will take my chances."
Kenneth's girlfriend Amy glanced at Kenneth. "I thought you said this guy was fun."
"He is fun. Plenty. He's more fun than a sack of cats in a kiddie pool. He just . . . doesn't like roller coasters, I guess. We've never been to a theme park with him. We know why I guess."
Amy watched the short, squat Eric walk a little ways away with Nora. "He won't even try?"
"I don't know, maybe we just have to soften him up a little bit. He's not used to being so high off the ground. We should start out with some smaller rides first. Liiiiiiike . . ." Kenneth shaded his eyes and looked around, past bunches of balloons and kids holding cotton candy. "That one!"
"Nope!" Eric said, mere minutes later as they stood in front of the 'Eggsecutor,' a spinning contraption that had been designed to utilize three dimensions of motion, and perhaps more. On its numerous whirling arms, children and adults alike screamed past, gleefully throwing their arms in the air.
"I bet no one has ever gotten hurt going on this ride," Kenneth said to Eric. "I bet that you're more likely to be struck by lightning while being attacked by a shark than you are getting hurt on this ride."
Eric only shrugged, arms crossed. The moving shadows that the Eggsecutor created passed over his face. "I don't want to."
Nora thought to herself a moment. "Let's put it this way, Eric, you can either go on this ride-" As she said it, a squadron of eight-year olds exited the ride, laughing "-or you can go on that one."
She pointed and the other three looked. They spotted a sign that said, in bold, dripping red letters: 'THE JACKHAMMER.'
"What'll it be?" Nora asked.
"See?" Kenneth said. "That wasn't so bad!"
Eric, white-faced, sat in a near-fetal position on a bench near the Eggsecutor. Nora thought she saw a lighter-streak in his hair.
"It went so fast!" Eric managed to blurt out. "It didn't even look that fast when we were in line!"
Kenneth and Amy exchanged looks. The Eggsecutor was hardly as fast as when Mr. Neal drove the campus bus. It seemed almost tame in comparison.
"It was a good first step!" Kenneth said. "We'll just take a quick breather, and then we can pick a different ride." Eric whimpered. "Or take a walk around the park and go home."
Eric perked up. "Really?"
"Of course not. deep breaths now," Kenneth said, smacking Eric on the back a few times. "Why don't you ladies go see if we can find anything that will be more Eric's speed," he said to Amy, and then he mouthed the word "faster!"
"Okay, we'll do that," Nora said, nodding. They left Eric and Kenneth and wandered the cobbled paths of the theme park.
Nora first pointed out the Log Ride, a universal staple for theme parks. Amy considered it, then motioned at a ride called the 'Pillow Bounce,' which was an inflatable house filled with children. Both girls laughed until the realized that it was just the sort of thing that Eric would have enjoyed. They moved on.
Amy looked up at the twisting heights of the 'Wyld Ryde,' and then moved with Nora to the 'Crazy Corkscrew.' This coaster boasted almost half a dozen instances of taking a rider upside down. "Maybe at the end of the day," Nora said.
They turned around and tilted their heads. They looked at each other and smiled. In front of them was THE JACKHAMMER. They'd only seen the sign at first, but now they could gaze upon its full glory. "I've never seen a roller coaster that goes underground," Nora said.
Amy nodded. "That's a pretty steep drop. And look, the train is launched out of the station! I've never been on one of those before!"
"Do you think that's the part they're referring to when they say THE JACKHAMMER?" Nora asked, pointing at a specific section of the track. Just as they were looking, one of the trains reached it, and both girls' heads wove back and forth, as if charming a snake, watching it get to the end of the section.
A few minutes later, the same children that had exited the Eggsecutor at a run stumbled out of THE JACKHAMMER's exit, barely able to keep their eyes pointed in the same direction. Their accompanying adults weren't any different, and one poor man knelt on the ground and placed his head between his knees.
Nora and Amy looked on in a mix of wonder, concern, and terror. "I'm surprised it's possible to build that thing. It's a miracle of modern engineering."
"They can do all sorts of things with jet propulsion nowadays," Amy replied. "You know what I think?"
"The same thing I'm thinking?" Nora asked. Her teeth sparkled inside her grin.
"That we have got to get Eric to ride that monstrosity?"
"Yes! Yes. If it doesn't happen, this day has been a waste. Before we go home, we will watch Eric get jackhammered."
Both girls paused. "We should phrase it a different way when we bring it up, though," Nora suggested. Amy nodded, and averted her eyes as another train of passengers reached the Jackhammer section of THE JACKHAMMER. "We should also make sure that he hasn't eaten anything for a few hours."
"I just got a chill down my back," Eric told Kenneth. They wandered the pathways of the park, making way for children, harried parents, and men in colorful costumes. "Like someone said my name while licking a knife."
Kenneth glanced at him as a man on stilts passed. "Just the wind."
"No way. It felt more like when a raindrop dribbles down your neck. And you know what?" He pointed straight up as they walked. "There aren't any clouds in the sky!"
"Look," Kenneth said, trying to distract the other student. "A mariachi band! You like those!"
"Better than most of the other things in this park, at least," Eric muttered as Kenneth drew him along.
The band, decked out in sensational black suits, played loudly on their instruments. Eric and Kenneth listened for a few minutes, then Eric started to get restless. "Let's get moving. I don't feel good standing still."
"Why not?"
"I don't know, it's almost like something's going to jump out at me." he eyed the nearest roller coaster. "Or something."
"You big baby. Fine. We're going to go on more rides, you know. You didn't die when you rode that egg thing, you won't die anywhere else, either."
"I feel like there's some logic there that's missing."
"Oh come on!" Kenneth grabbed a fistful of Eric's shirt. "I'm going to close my eyes and point at a ride. We're going on it." He did so. When he opened his eyes he found his finger quivering in the direction of a few clouds."
"Oh well! I guess we won't go on a ride. Can't ride the sky!" Eric said, but then wondered for a moment if there was a way, and frowned.
"Closest ride wins," Kenneth replied, and shifted his finger toward an iron roller coaster called 'The Tiny Tumbler.' "Look, it doesn't even go up that high. It also doesn't tilt the car at all. You just get jostled around a bit. That's not so bad, right?"
Eric studied the length of the ride. It still didn't look to good to him, but at that moment a stool with uneven legs would have been a thrill. "I don't know . . ."
"The finger has decided," Kenneth said evenly. He pushed Eric into the line. "This is nothing. This is practically a kid's ride!"
"Then we should let kids ride it," Eric commented. "Are the cars even big enough for us? I bet we end up with bruised spleens. And I think I've been coming down with something and it might be mono; if I go on that my spleen might burst and I'd die."
Kenneth looked behind him, at a squadron of children staring open-mouthed at Eric. "Don't worry kids, he's just a fraidy-cat." He turned back to Eric, glaring. "Maybe keep the dying stuff to yourself while we're at the child-filled zone of wonder and fun?"
"How do you think we should do it?" Amy asked. Nora thought to herself.
"I know that bribing him with food will help to grease the wheels, but it might take more than a promise of Dairy Queen to get that train wreck rolling." She was quiet for a few more seconds. "I might need to initiate the Omega Scheme."
Amy waited for her to explain. When no explanation was forthcoming, she rotated her hands around each other, indicating Nora should continue.
"It takes a while to explain," Nora said. "We'd at least need to get a pound of butter, sixteen road flares, a garden hose . . ."
"What about the hockey sticks?" Amy asked. "The boys should be near here."
"The hockey sticks are to help the roller-skating portion," Nora said. "That's the whole plan. It's my final option for getting Eric to do something he doesn't want to do."
"I was wondering about the roller skating portion," Amy said. "But it makes more sense now. Look, there they are." She pointed at a park bench. Kenneth was sitting with one leg on his knee, but Eric looked as if he had been run through a pasta press. His limbs and body sagged, draped over the bench.
"So. Uh. How'd things go?" Amy asked. Eric looked up at her with his head rolling on his neck. He stood and hugged her.
"I thought I'd never see you again," he said gently.
"Oh, well, that's nice, Eric, but you're dating Nora." Eric looked around and found Nora standing with her arms crossed, tapping a foot. Eric quickly transitioned to her, and repeated his statement.
"Nice to see you too," Nora said sourly. "What happened to you?"
Kenneth wordlessly pointed at the adjacent roller coaster. Nora and Amy watched it. "Doesn't seem that bad," Amy said.
"It turns out that the cars tilt a little bit on hydraulics," Kenneth said. "We weren't aware of that when we got on, and Eric spent the entire ride clinging to me, thinking he was gonna get dumped out." The two women looked at Eric, who stood staring up at the sky absent-absentmindedly. "He's got a strong grip, too. I could hardly breathe."
Amy waved a hand in front of Eric's face. "I think we know what we want him to go on," she said. She nodded at Nora, who made a motion like a man using a jackhammer. Kenneth glanced at Eric, then nodded slowly.
"That might take some convincing," he said, standing. "We'll have to continue to work him up to it. The Tiny Tumbler was a good start, but there are more options for us to choose from in the meantime."
"In the meantime of what?" Eric asked, back in their world.
"Oh, nothing. Feeling better?"
"A little bit. I think I just need to walk around a little bit."
"There, that's the spirit!" Kenneth jumped in line. "Nothing like a little bit of excitement to get you up in the morning!"
Eric wobbled, and fell into a bush.
"We're just working you up to the big leagues," Kenneth said, picking the last leaf out of Eric's hair. "Soon you'll think that those first two rides were nothing. Child's play."
Eric looked at the ground. "What do I have to go on next?"
"Chin up. We're heading to the high seas!" He pointed at the next ride, 'The Captain's curse.' "It's just back and forth," Kenneth said. Eric watched the ride. The boat, suspended by long pillars, swayed forward and backward, gaining speed. It started to go higher and higher, eventually getting to one hundred and eighty degrees above them, and there it hung for a heart-rending second, before sending the people screaming past them in an arc down, around, and back up to its zenith. Slowly the ride wound down, until the people disembarked, tripping over each other as they exited.
"If you make me go on that, I will kill you," Eric said.
"Can't do that. Remember the rules we discussed on the way here?" Kenneth looked at Nora and Amy. "Ladies first."
The girls got on, and the boys were strapped in behind them. Eric genuinely thanked the teenager who made sure his seat belt was tightened correctly. The ride began to vibrate.
"I gotta say," Eric said. His face was pale. "I'm not excited about going upside-down."
The ride began to pick up, swinging one way and then the other. Wind tore at them, and Kenneth and Eric found their eyes full of the girls' hair every few seconds. The ride got faster, and Eric, hands drained of blood from griping the handles in front of him, started to scream. The boat started to go upside-down, and his screaming intensified. By the time the boat got to the top for the first time and hung, immobile, for a harrowing moment, dogs near the park were rolling on the ground and pawing at their ears.
The ride, and Eric, wound down, slowing to a stop at the bottom of its circle. When Eric's seat belt was released he dribbled out, landing on the ground in a puddle of man. Kenneth hoisted him up. "Still alive?"
"Maybe?" Eric said. He swallowed. "If I ever leave this place that will mean I've survived."
"That was fun!" Amy said. "I want to go on that one again."
"Maybe at the end," Kenneth said, still supporting Eric.
"I need to get a drink," Eric said. "I feel like my throat is about to close up." He wandered toward a lemonade stand with the other three following. They got lemonades and sat in the shade. The day had gotten hotter while they had stood in line, and the clouds had burned away. Eric dumped his trash and stood in the warm sun.
"What do you feel like tackling next?" Kenneth asked. "The Witch's Swamp? Maybe The Mine Carts of Doom?"
"We should ride a roller coaster next," Nora said, and Eric gasped. He whirled on her, unable to speak. Instead, his mouth opened and closed several times, until he turned back around.
"That's a good idea," Amy said. "These rides are fun, but they're nothing compared to a real roller coaster." Eric hunched his shoulders.
"Hey, it looks like that one has a pretty short line," Kenneth said, pointing. "Maybe we can get on it before Eric realizes he's going to be riding one."
Eric followed them lamely until they stood in line for a roller coaster called 'Knights of the Round.' It didn't go very high in the air, but had long, wide turns and loops, and sped overhead as they waited. Eric tried his hardest not to watch it. In only a few minutes they were strapped in, waiting for the train to fill up.
"Check it out," Nora said, sitting next to Eric. His hands seemed bound to the hand rail. "This is one of those roller coasters that has a camera on it. Be sure to smile when we're in the middle of that corkscrew!"
"This is going on my wall," Nora said. "I might even make it my computer's background." She looked at Eric. "I'll need to borrow your scanner."
The picture, purchased after exiting the ride, had Nora on the left side, hair blowing in the wind, hands raised, mouth open and exuberant. On the right, it hand Eric. His hands had nearly bent the railing into an angle, his face started pale, went to red, and then shifted to purple near the top. His mouth was a near-ninety degree angle, a corner that started low at the sides and met high in the middle. Nora found a pen and drew on the back of the picture: (8<
"Very funny," Eric said. "Something to show the grand kids. I hope you're happy."
"Very happy!" Kenneth said, still laughing at the picture. "This is going to cheer me up every time I think about it!" Eric harumphed. "It could be worse," he said to Eric. "You don't feel nauseous, do you?"
"Well, no, I guess not," Eric said. "In fact, I'm kinda hungry. It's passed lunchtime."
"It is," Kenneth said. "Let's get something to eat." They found a pizza shop and got slices of pepperoni pizza. Eric wolfed his down as the other three dabbed the extra grease off with napkins. "You've made it so far; how do you feel?" Kenneth asked Eric.
"Not too bad, I guess," Eric responded. "It goes by so fast."
"Yeah, none of the rides are too long."
"I meant my life, every time I ride one," Eric said. Kenneth rolled his eyes. "It goes by so fast."
"All right, theatrical major," Nora said. "Let's let the pizza sit for a minute and then find something else for you to ride."
They started walking and got to the log ride. "This is nothing compared to a roller coaster," Amy said. "It's slower, it's got cushioning, and it doesn't go as high. The worst thing that'll happen is you'll get wet. On a day like this that doesn't sound so bad, does it?"
"Well . . . I guess." Eric looked around. "Where is it?"
The next thing he knew he was in line. "Triton's Fist!" Kenneth said enthusiastically. "What a name."
"I hope we don't get too wet," Amy said. "I didn't bring a change of clothes. I'd hate to walk around all day in soggy pants." She watched the current log get winched to the top of the drop. "It looks like all the water is being pushed away from the log instead of into it."
"Yeah, I don't think it will be too bad," Nora agreed. Kenneth stayed silent, trying not to smile. After a little while the four of them were placed into a a log together, with the boys in front and the girls behind. Their log was sent into the flowing waters of Triton's Fist.
They were dragged up one slope, then did a one hundred and eighty degree turn and continued to rise. "It didn't seem as high when we were waiting in line," Eric said, with his arms wrapped around the handle in front of them. The only other things keeping him from flying out of the log was a small seat belt which looked quite threadbare to his eyes. They peaked and leveled out for a moment.
Eric thought it was almost peaceful, up with the birds and the blue sky, warmed by the sun, away from the shouts and screams of the theme park. He could see the car park. The log tipped forward, and all peace vanished.
Like a wooden bullet it shot down the water-lined slope toward a full trench. They hit it, and wings of water fired out to either side and in front, drenching them. Both of the girls sputtered, and Kenneth laughed.
"You knew that was going to happen!" Amy shouted, smacking his shoulder. "Why didn't you say anything?"
"We haven't let Eric cut out from a ride yet today," Kenneth said, shaking his hair out, "why should I let you just because you're going to get a little wet?"
"I'm sitting in a puddle!" Amy shouted.
"I think there's a fish in my pocket," Nora added.
"I'm gonna get you back for that," Amy said. She grabbed a clump of her hair and squeezed, depositing water over the side of the log. The bumped into the station and exited, heading for the bridge over the track. "I'm not sure where, I'm not sure when, but I'll get you back."
"Okay," Kenneth said, "but be sure to stand right there when you do it." He pointed at her current spot on the bridge. To her right, a log was shooting down the descent to the pool of water. A moment later, the other three watched her get soaked yet again by the spray. Kenneth helped her up. She eyed him with barely-concealed anger.
"Come on Ariel, let's get you into the sun," he said, and they exited the bridge. Amy left a trail of wet shoe prints behind.
"Dirty rotten scoundrel," Amy muttered to herself as she used hand towels in the ladies' restroom. "He knew that was going to happen too, and just let me stand there!"
"Are you really going to get him back?" Nora asked, watching Amy try to dry herself off.
"I hope so. I really hate feeling wet when I'm not ready." Amy sighed. "Sometimes not even then."
"I have an idea, then," Nora said. "If you're willing."
"I'm interested," Amy said, looking at the other girl out of the corner of her eye. She tried to blow a bang out of the way. "What do you have in mind?"
"The Jackhammer, right? The plan is to get Eric to ride it to cap off the day. Did you want to ride it?"
"That thing? Good grief, no. Did you?"
"No way. I'm willing to bet that Kenneth doesn't, either. He might like a thrill, but . . ."
"The Jackhammer is something else entirely, I get it."
The two women discussed what they would do, and when they exited they ran into Eric. They explained it to him, and Eric cracked the first smile they'd seen all day.
The day was winding down. They'd gone on one other ride, something called the 'Phantasmagorical Platter,' and which could not be described by any of them, save Eric, who described it in the general manner he described all the rides: "A lot of screaming and yelling and it goes pretty fast, and why would people pay to come here? It's stupid."
"We only have one last ride to go on," Kenneth said. "The crown jewel of Little Falls. The big banana, the prime cut, the hot burrito. The Jackhammer."
Eric looked around. "Which one is it?"
"I'll lead the way," Kenneth said, and began walking. The other three exchanged smiles and followed him. When they reached spot that Amy and Nora had first seen The Jackhammer, Eric didn't have to act as if he had no idea what was going on.
"What! What!" He pointed, silently demanding an explanation for the mechanical creation before his eyes. "That's! It's! You! I! We!" He sputtered, and his speech ground to a halt.
"I agree." Kenneth nodded. "It's quite the sight. I think you can handle it, Eric. You are no longer just a boy. No, you're a man! I've done my best to prepare you for this, but you'll have to take care of it alone, for it is your final challenge. Were you go, we cannot follow."
"I'm not going on that alone!" Eric said. "I'm not going on that."
"Don't be a spoilsport!" Kenneth said. "You can do it! Just hold on tight, and don't forget to smile! We'll want another picture to add to the collection."
Eric looked like someone had just shot his dog.
"We can't expect Eric to go on that thing all alone!" Amy said. "Kenneth, we should go on it too. Nora?"
"Yeah! I can't let my man go on that all by himself. It's not right." She looked at Eric. "How does that sound?"
"Better," Eric said. A car of screams went over their heard and Eric's hair stood on end.
"Okay, uh, let's get in line before Eric looses his nerve," Nora said, pushing Kenneth toward the front of the line. "After this, the day will be a great success." They stood, waiting, shuffling forward every few minutes. The Jackhammer surged overhead, to the sides, and, Eric thought, under them. After a while of waiting they got near the front.
"So, Kenneth, why is it so important that Eric does all this?" Amy asked.
"I'm glad you want to know," Kenneth said. "Eric has long had some trouble coming out of his shell. I knew it was high time to help him become more comfortable doing new things, and that this was the perfect way to do it: the illusion of danger, but very little real danger at all. Like I said, it's more probably we're going to die in the car on the way home than on a roller coaster. It's important for Eric to branch out, and what kind of friend would I be if I didn't help him?" They got to the front line, and Eric moved toward an empty car. "This roller coaster terrifies me; it looks like it was constructed and designed by monkeys, but if helping Eric means sitting through this then I'm ready to go."
Kenneth realized, after a few moments, that he had been talking to himself for the last minute. He looked to his left as the attendant secured the bar over his lap, and saw his three friends outside the line, watching the train pull away. Eric waved with subtle motions of his hand. "Don't forget to smile," He shouted as Kenneth was launched into the sky.
"You think that will teach him?" Nora asked. The train had reached its first loop. "He's not going to be happy."
"He doesn't need to be happy," Eric said as the train plunged underground and then resurfaced, just as fast. They watched for a minute. "No, I don't think he will be."
"Oh, look, here comes THE JACKHAMMER section," Amy said. After a moment, Eric turned away, feeling sick. Nora and Amy cringed. "It doesn't get any easier watching it a second time. It's a good thing we couldn't see that section from the line." She paused. "What is it doing right there?"
"It looks like it's in a corkscrew while also spinning around the track," Nora replied.
"There," Eric said. "We each got one." He happily clutched the picture of Kenneth riding The Jackhammer. "I think I'm going to make this one my background."
Kenneth said nothing, just hugged himself, teeth chattering. Eric leaned in, pressing his face against Kenneth's. "Maybe you'll remember this any time you want to 'get me out of my shell.'"
Kenneth nodded, finally subdued. His friends led him to their car and left.
Little Falls Theme Park roared around them. A metric ton of corn dogs were being sold every day to children and adults, stuffed toys were being won and lost at the bounce of a ring or baseball, and the morning sun danced through wispy clouds.
"But they're screaming because they're having fun," Eric's girlfriend Nora said. "It's exciting."
"They're scared," Eric said. "People die on roller coasters."
"You're more likely to die driving in a car," Eric's friend Kenneth said behind him.
"I-" Eric pointed his chin in the air. "Will take my chances."
Kenneth's girlfriend Amy glanced at Kenneth. "I thought you said this guy was fun."
"He is fun. Plenty. He's more fun than a sack of cats in a kiddie pool. He just . . . doesn't like roller coasters, I guess. We've never been to a theme park with him. We know why I guess."
Amy watched the short, squat Eric walk a little ways away with Nora. "He won't even try?"
"I don't know, maybe we just have to soften him up a little bit. He's not used to being so high off the ground. We should start out with some smaller rides first. Liiiiiiike . . ." Kenneth shaded his eyes and looked around, past bunches of balloons and kids holding cotton candy. "That one!"
"Nope!" Eric said, mere minutes later as they stood in front of the 'Eggsecutor,' a spinning contraption that had been designed to utilize three dimensions of motion, and perhaps more. On its numerous whirling arms, children and adults alike screamed past, gleefully throwing their arms in the air.
"I bet no one has ever gotten hurt going on this ride," Kenneth said to Eric. "I bet that you're more likely to be struck by lightning while being attacked by a shark than you are getting hurt on this ride."
Eric only shrugged, arms crossed. The moving shadows that the Eggsecutor created passed over his face. "I don't want to."
Nora thought to herself a moment. "Let's put it this way, Eric, you can either go on this ride-" As she said it, a squadron of eight-year olds exited the ride, laughing "-or you can go on that one."
She pointed and the other three looked. They spotted a sign that said, in bold, dripping red letters: 'THE JACKHAMMER.'
"What'll it be?" Nora asked.
"See?" Kenneth said. "That wasn't so bad!"
Eric, white-faced, sat in a near-fetal position on a bench near the Eggsecutor. Nora thought she saw a lighter-streak in his hair.
"It went so fast!" Eric managed to blurt out. "It didn't even look that fast when we were in line!"
Kenneth and Amy exchanged looks. The Eggsecutor was hardly as fast as when Mr. Neal drove the campus bus. It seemed almost tame in comparison.
"It was a good first step!" Kenneth said. "We'll just take a quick breather, and then we can pick a different ride." Eric whimpered. "Or take a walk around the park and go home."
Eric perked up. "Really?"
"Of course not. deep breaths now," Kenneth said, smacking Eric on the back a few times. "Why don't you ladies go see if we can find anything that will be more Eric's speed," he said to Amy, and then he mouthed the word "faster!"
"Okay, we'll do that," Nora said, nodding. They left Eric and Kenneth and wandered the cobbled paths of the theme park.
Nora first pointed out the Log Ride, a universal staple for theme parks. Amy considered it, then motioned at a ride called the 'Pillow Bounce,' which was an inflatable house filled with children. Both girls laughed until the realized that it was just the sort of thing that Eric would have enjoyed. They moved on.
Amy looked up at the twisting heights of the 'Wyld Ryde,' and then moved with Nora to the 'Crazy Corkscrew.' This coaster boasted almost half a dozen instances of taking a rider upside down. "Maybe at the end of the day," Nora said.
They turned around and tilted their heads. They looked at each other and smiled. In front of them was THE JACKHAMMER. They'd only seen the sign at first, but now they could gaze upon its full glory. "I've never seen a roller coaster that goes underground," Nora said.
Amy nodded. "That's a pretty steep drop. And look, the train is launched out of the station! I've never been on one of those before!"
"Do you think that's the part they're referring to when they say THE JACKHAMMER?" Nora asked, pointing at a specific section of the track. Just as they were looking, one of the trains reached it, and both girls' heads wove back and forth, as if charming a snake, watching it get to the end of the section.
A few minutes later, the same children that had exited the Eggsecutor at a run stumbled out of THE JACKHAMMER's exit, barely able to keep their eyes pointed in the same direction. Their accompanying adults weren't any different, and one poor man knelt on the ground and placed his head between his knees.
Nora and Amy looked on in a mix of wonder, concern, and terror. "I'm surprised it's possible to build that thing. It's a miracle of modern engineering."
"They can do all sorts of things with jet propulsion nowadays," Amy replied. "You know what I think?"
"The same thing I'm thinking?" Nora asked. Her teeth sparkled inside her grin.
"That we have got to get Eric to ride that monstrosity?"
"Yes! Yes. If it doesn't happen, this day has been a waste. Before we go home, we will watch Eric get jackhammered."
Both girls paused. "We should phrase it a different way when we bring it up, though," Nora suggested. Amy nodded, and averted her eyes as another train of passengers reached the Jackhammer section of THE JACKHAMMER. "We should also make sure that he hasn't eaten anything for a few hours."
"I just got a chill down my back," Eric told Kenneth. They wandered the pathways of the park, making way for children, harried parents, and men in colorful costumes. "Like someone said my name while licking a knife."
Kenneth glanced at him as a man on stilts passed. "Just the wind."
"No way. It felt more like when a raindrop dribbles down your neck. And you know what?" He pointed straight up as they walked. "There aren't any clouds in the sky!"
"Look," Kenneth said, trying to distract the other student. "A mariachi band! You like those!"
"Better than most of the other things in this park, at least," Eric muttered as Kenneth drew him along.
The band, decked out in sensational black suits, played loudly on their instruments. Eric and Kenneth listened for a few minutes, then Eric started to get restless. "Let's get moving. I don't feel good standing still."
"Why not?"
"I don't know, it's almost like something's going to jump out at me." he eyed the nearest roller coaster. "Or something."
"You big baby. Fine. We're going to go on more rides, you know. You didn't die when you rode that egg thing, you won't die anywhere else, either."
"I feel like there's some logic there that's missing."
"Oh come on!" Kenneth grabbed a fistful of Eric's shirt. "I'm going to close my eyes and point at a ride. We're going on it." He did so. When he opened his eyes he found his finger quivering in the direction of a few clouds."
"Oh well! I guess we won't go on a ride. Can't ride the sky!" Eric said, but then wondered for a moment if there was a way, and frowned.
"Closest ride wins," Kenneth replied, and shifted his finger toward an iron roller coaster called 'The Tiny Tumbler.' "Look, it doesn't even go up that high. It also doesn't tilt the car at all. You just get jostled around a bit. That's not so bad, right?"
Eric studied the length of the ride. It still didn't look to good to him, but at that moment a stool with uneven legs would have been a thrill. "I don't know . . ."
"The finger has decided," Kenneth said evenly. He pushed Eric into the line. "This is nothing. This is practically a kid's ride!"
"Then we should let kids ride it," Eric commented. "Are the cars even big enough for us? I bet we end up with bruised spleens. And I think I've been coming down with something and it might be mono; if I go on that my spleen might burst and I'd die."
Kenneth looked behind him, at a squadron of children staring open-mouthed at Eric. "Don't worry kids, he's just a fraidy-cat." He turned back to Eric, glaring. "Maybe keep the dying stuff to yourself while we're at the child-filled zone of wonder and fun?"
"How do you think we should do it?" Amy asked. Nora thought to herself.
"I know that bribing him with food will help to grease the wheels, but it might take more than a promise of Dairy Queen to get that train wreck rolling." She was quiet for a few more seconds. "I might need to initiate the Omega Scheme."
Amy waited for her to explain. When no explanation was forthcoming, she rotated her hands around each other, indicating Nora should continue.
"It takes a while to explain," Nora said. "We'd at least need to get a pound of butter, sixteen road flares, a garden hose . . ."
"What about the hockey sticks?" Amy asked. "The boys should be near here."
"The hockey sticks are to help the roller-skating portion," Nora said. "That's the whole plan. It's my final option for getting Eric to do something he doesn't want to do."
"I was wondering about the roller skating portion," Amy said. "But it makes more sense now. Look, there they are." She pointed at a park bench. Kenneth was sitting with one leg on his knee, but Eric looked as if he had been run through a pasta press. His limbs and body sagged, draped over the bench.
"So. Uh. How'd things go?" Amy asked. Eric looked up at her with his head rolling on his neck. He stood and hugged her.
"I thought I'd never see you again," he said gently.
"Oh, well, that's nice, Eric, but you're dating Nora." Eric looked around and found Nora standing with her arms crossed, tapping a foot. Eric quickly transitioned to her, and repeated his statement.
"Nice to see you too," Nora said sourly. "What happened to you?"
Kenneth wordlessly pointed at the adjacent roller coaster. Nora and Amy watched it. "Doesn't seem that bad," Amy said.
"It turns out that the cars tilt a little bit on hydraulics," Kenneth said. "We weren't aware of that when we got on, and Eric spent the entire ride clinging to me, thinking he was gonna get dumped out." The two women looked at Eric, who stood staring up at the sky absent-absentmindedly. "He's got a strong grip, too. I could hardly breathe."
Amy waved a hand in front of Eric's face. "I think we know what we want him to go on," she said. She nodded at Nora, who made a motion like a man using a jackhammer. Kenneth glanced at Eric, then nodded slowly.
"That might take some convincing," he said, standing. "We'll have to continue to work him up to it. The Tiny Tumbler was a good start, but there are more options for us to choose from in the meantime."
"In the meantime of what?" Eric asked, back in their world.
"Oh, nothing. Feeling better?"
"A little bit. I think I just need to walk around a little bit."
"There, that's the spirit!" Kenneth jumped in line. "Nothing like a little bit of excitement to get you up in the morning!"
Eric wobbled, and fell into a bush.
"We're just working you up to the big leagues," Kenneth said, picking the last leaf out of Eric's hair. "Soon you'll think that those first two rides were nothing. Child's play."
Eric looked at the ground. "What do I have to go on next?"
"Chin up. We're heading to the high seas!" He pointed at the next ride, 'The Captain's curse.' "It's just back and forth," Kenneth said. Eric watched the ride. The boat, suspended by long pillars, swayed forward and backward, gaining speed. It started to go higher and higher, eventually getting to one hundred and eighty degrees above them, and there it hung for a heart-rending second, before sending the people screaming past them in an arc down, around, and back up to its zenith. Slowly the ride wound down, until the people disembarked, tripping over each other as they exited.
"If you make me go on that, I will kill you," Eric said.
"Can't do that. Remember the rules we discussed on the way here?" Kenneth looked at Nora and Amy. "Ladies first."
The girls got on, and the boys were strapped in behind them. Eric genuinely thanked the teenager who made sure his seat belt was tightened correctly. The ride began to vibrate.
"I gotta say," Eric said. His face was pale. "I'm not excited about going upside-down."
The ride began to pick up, swinging one way and then the other. Wind tore at them, and Kenneth and Eric found their eyes full of the girls' hair every few seconds. The ride got faster, and Eric, hands drained of blood from griping the handles in front of him, started to scream. The boat started to go upside-down, and his screaming intensified. By the time the boat got to the top for the first time and hung, immobile, for a harrowing moment, dogs near the park were rolling on the ground and pawing at their ears.
The ride, and Eric, wound down, slowing to a stop at the bottom of its circle. When Eric's seat belt was released he dribbled out, landing on the ground in a puddle of man. Kenneth hoisted him up. "Still alive?"
"Maybe?" Eric said. He swallowed. "If I ever leave this place that will mean I've survived."
"That was fun!" Amy said. "I want to go on that one again."
"Maybe at the end," Kenneth said, still supporting Eric.
"I need to get a drink," Eric said. "I feel like my throat is about to close up." He wandered toward a lemonade stand with the other three following. They got lemonades and sat in the shade. The day had gotten hotter while they had stood in line, and the clouds had burned away. Eric dumped his trash and stood in the warm sun.
"What do you feel like tackling next?" Kenneth asked. "The Witch's Swamp? Maybe The Mine Carts of Doom?"
"We should ride a roller coaster next," Nora said, and Eric gasped. He whirled on her, unable to speak. Instead, his mouth opened and closed several times, until he turned back around.
"That's a good idea," Amy said. "These rides are fun, but they're nothing compared to a real roller coaster." Eric hunched his shoulders.
"Hey, it looks like that one has a pretty short line," Kenneth said, pointing. "Maybe we can get on it before Eric realizes he's going to be riding one."
Eric followed them lamely until they stood in line for a roller coaster called 'Knights of the Round.' It didn't go very high in the air, but had long, wide turns and loops, and sped overhead as they waited. Eric tried his hardest not to watch it. In only a few minutes they were strapped in, waiting for the train to fill up.
"Check it out," Nora said, sitting next to Eric. His hands seemed bound to the hand rail. "This is one of those roller coasters that has a camera on it. Be sure to smile when we're in the middle of that corkscrew!"
"This is going on my wall," Nora said. "I might even make it my computer's background." She looked at Eric. "I'll need to borrow your scanner."
The picture, purchased after exiting the ride, had Nora on the left side, hair blowing in the wind, hands raised, mouth open and exuberant. On the right, it hand Eric. His hands had nearly bent the railing into an angle, his face started pale, went to red, and then shifted to purple near the top. His mouth was a near-ninety degree angle, a corner that started low at the sides and met high in the middle. Nora found a pen and drew on the back of the picture: (8<
"Very funny," Eric said. "Something to show the grand kids. I hope you're happy."
"Very happy!" Kenneth said, still laughing at the picture. "This is going to cheer me up every time I think about it!" Eric harumphed. "It could be worse," he said to Eric. "You don't feel nauseous, do you?"
"Well, no, I guess not," Eric said. "In fact, I'm kinda hungry. It's passed lunchtime."
"It is," Kenneth said. "Let's get something to eat." They found a pizza shop and got slices of pepperoni pizza. Eric wolfed his down as the other three dabbed the extra grease off with napkins. "You've made it so far; how do you feel?" Kenneth asked Eric.
"Not too bad, I guess," Eric responded. "It goes by so fast."
"Yeah, none of the rides are too long."
"I meant my life, every time I ride one," Eric said. Kenneth rolled his eyes. "It goes by so fast."
"All right, theatrical major," Nora said. "Let's let the pizza sit for a minute and then find something else for you to ride."
They started walking and got to the log ride. "This is nothing compared to a roller coaster," Amy said. "It's slower, it's got cushioning, and it doesn't go as high. The worst thing that'll happen is you'll get wet. On a day like this that doesn't sound so bad, does it?"
"Well . . . I guess." Eric looked around. "Where is it?"
The next thing he knew he was in line. "Triton's Fist!" Kenneth said enthusiastically. "What a name."
"I hope we don't get too wet," Amy said. "I didn't bring a change of clothes. I'd hate to walk around all day in soggy pants." She watched the current log get winched to the top of the drop. "It looks like all the water is being pushed away from the log instead of into it."
"Yeah, I don't think it will be too bad," Nora agreed. Kenneth stayed silent, trying not to smile. After a little while the four of them were placed into a a log together, with the boys in front and the girls behind. Their log was sent into the flowing waters of Triton's Fist.
They were dragged up one slope, then did a one hundred and eighty degree turn and continued to rise. "It didn't seem as high when we were waiting in line," Eric said, with his arms wrapped around the handle in front of them. The only other things keeping him from flying out of the log was a small seat belt which looked quite threadbare to his eyes. They peaked and leveled out for a moment.
Eric thought it was almost peaceful, up with the birds and the blue sky, warmed by the sun, away from the shouts and screams of the theme park. He could see the car park. The log tipped forward, and all peace vanished.
Like a wooden bullet it shot down the water-lined slope toward a full trench. They hit it, and wings of water fired out to either side and in front, drenching them. Both of the girls sputtered, and Kenneth laughed.
"You knew that was going to happen!" Amy shouted, smacking his shoulder. "Why didn't you say anything?"
"We haven't let Eric cut out from a ride yet today," Kenneth said, shaking his hair out, "why should I let you just because you're going to get a little wet?"
"I'm sitting in a puddle!" Amy shouted.
"I think there's a fish in my pocket," Nora added.
"I'm gonna get you back for that," Amy said. She grabbed a clump of her hair and squeezed, depositing water over the side of the log. The bumped into the station and exited, heading for the bridge over the track. "I'm not sure where, I'm not sure when, but I'll get you back."
"Okay," Kenneth said, "but be sure to stand right there when you do it." He pointed at her current spot on the bridge. To her right, a log was shooting down the descent to the pool of water. A moment later, the other three watched her get soaked yet again by the spray. Kenneth helped her up. She eyed him with barely-concealed anger.
"Come on Ariel, let's get you into the sun," he said, and they exited the bridge. Amy left a trail of wet shoe prints behind.
"Dirty rotten scoundrel," Amy muttered to herself as she used hand towels in the ladies' restroom. "He knew that was going to happen too, and just let me stand there!"
"Are you really going to get him back?" Nora asked, watching Amy try to dry herself off.
"I hope so. I really hate feeling wet when I'm not ready." Amy sighed. "Sometimes not even then."
"I have an idea, then," Nora said. "If you're willing."
"I'm interested," Amy said, looking at the other girl out of the corner of her eye. She tried to blow a bang out of the way. "What do you have in mind?"
"The Jackhammer, right? The plan is to get Eric to ride it to cap off the day. Did you want to ride it?"
"That thing? Good grief, no. Did you?"
"No way. I'm willing to bet that Kenneth doesn't, either. He might like a thrill, but . . ."
"The Jackhammer is something else entirely, I get it."
The two women discussed what they would do, and when they exited they ran into Eric. They explained it to him, and Eric cracked the first smile they'd seen all day.
The day was winding down. They'd gone on one other ride, something called the 'Phantasmagorical Platter,' and which could not be described by any of them, save Eric, who described it in the general manner he described all the rides: "A lot of screaming and yelling and it goes pretty fast, and why would people pay to come here? It's stupid."
"We only have one last ride to go on," Kenneth said. "The crown jewel of Little Falls. The big banana, the prime cut, the hot burrito. The Jackhammer."
Eric looked around. "Which one is it?"
"I'll lead the way," Kenneth said, and began walking. The other three exchanged smiles and followed him. When they reached spot that Amy and Nora had first seen The Jackhammer, Eric didn't have to act as if he had no idea what was going on.
"What! What!" He pointed, silently demanding an explanation for the mechanical creation before his eyes. "That's! It's! You! I! We!" He sputtered, and his speech ground to a halt.
"I agree." Kenneth nodded. "It's quite the sight. I think you can handle it, Eric. You are no longer just a boy. No, you're a man! I've done my best to prepare you for this, but you'll have to take care of it alone, for it is your final challenge. Were you go, we cannot follow."
"I'm not going on that alone!" Eric said. "I'm not going on that."
"Don't be a spoilsport!" Kenneth said. "You can do it! Just hold on tight, and don't forget to smile! We'll want another picture to add to the collection."
Eric looked like someone had just shot his dog.
"We can't expect Eric to go on that thing all alone!" Amy said. "Kenneth, we should go on it too. Nora?"
"Yeah! I can't let my man go on that all by himself. It's not right." She looked at Eric. "How does that sound?"
"Better," Eric said. A car of screams went over their heard and Eric's hair stood on end.
"Okay, uh, let's get in line before Eric looses his nerve," Nora said, pushing Kenneth toward the front of the line. "After this, the day will be a great success." They stood, waiting, shuffling forward every few minutes. The Jackhammer surged overhead, to the sides, and, Eric thought, under them. After a while of waiting they got near the front.
"So, Kenneth, why is it so important that Eric does all this?" Amy asked.
"I'm glad you want to know," Kenneth said. "Eric has long had some trouble coming out of his shell. I knew it was high time to help him become more comfortable doing new things, and that this was the perfect way to do it: the illusion of danger, but very little real danger at all. Like I said, it's more probably we're going to die in the car on the way home than on a roller coaster. It's important for Eric to branch out, and what kind of friend would I be if I didn't help him?" They got to the front line, and Eric moved toward an empty car. "This roller coaster terrifies me; it looks like it was constructed and designed by monkeys, but if helping Eric means sitting through this then I'm ready to go."
Kenneth realized, after a few moments, that he had been talking to himself for the last minute. He looked to his left as the attendant secured the bar over his lap, and saw his three friends outside the line, watching the train pull away. Eric waved with subtle motions of his hand. "Don't forget to smile," He shouted as Kenneth was launched into the sky.
"You think that will teach him?" Nora asked. The train had reached its first loop. "He's not going to be happy."
"He doesn't need to be happy," Eric said as the train plunged underground and then resurfaced, just as fast. They watched for a minute. "No, I don't think he will be."
"Oh, look, here comes THE JACKHAMMER section," Amy said. After a moment, Eric turned away, feeling sick. Nora and Amy cringed. "It doesn't get any easier watching it a second time. It's a good thing we couldn't see that section from the line." She paused. "What is it doing right there?"
"It looks like it's in a corkscrew while also spinning around the track," Nora replied.
"There," Eric said. "We each got one." He happily clutched the picture of Kenneth riding The Jackhammer. "I think I'm going to make this one my background."
Kenneth said nothing, just hugged himself, teeth chattering. Eric leaned in, pressing his face against Kenneth's. "Maybe you'll remember this any time you want to 'get me out of my shell.'"
Kenneth nodded, finally subdued. His friends led him to their car and left.