Albert sat at his desk and gazed at the small object in front of him, which as far as he could tell had appeared out of nowhere. A little glass pillar, a couple inches high and almost an inch on each side. He picked it up and inspected every side.
"You really don't know where you got it?" his wife Shelby asked.
"Honeybunch, I've never seen this before. Maybe one of your friends gave it to us?"
"If one of my friends had given it to me, we would know. They wouldn't let us forget it." She took the glass pillar from him. "I'll just throw it away."
"No need to do that," Albert said. "Why don't we put it on the bookcase?" Albert pointed. A dark wood bookcase behind him had plenty of places for knick-knacks. "Just to take up a little bit of space."
"Doesn't bother me," Shelby said. "How about some of my world-famous homemade pasta for dinner?"
"Don't you mean world-infamous?" Albert asked, and Shelby rolled her eyes.
A few days later Albert stood to find a book. The case he was dealing with wasn't what you would call big, but there were still plenty of details to work out. He saw a small glass pillar on the shelf, a few inches in height, and an inch both wide and deep. He frowned at it, and picked it up, turning it over. "Hmm."
When Shelby got home from work he asked her about it. "Don't know," she said. "I've never seen it before. Maybe one of your clients gave it to you?"
"I certainly don't remember anything like that," Albert said. "Usually there's a note or something like that. I don't think any of my clients gave me this. It's a little bit too...."
"Classy?"
"I was going to go with subtle. There's no detail to it." Albert reached for it. "Huh. It's heavy." He held it up to his face. Shelby's image warped on the other side. "But still transparent, for the most part." He put it back on his bookcase. "Weird."
A few days later Shelby pushed the vacuum cleaner through the living room and bumped the table next to the couch. Something fell over, and she grumbled to herself as she killed the cleaner. She went to the table and found a glass pillar, several inches high, lying on its side. Wordlessly, she picked it up and sat it upright. She stood glaring at it for a minute, clicking her tongue a few times.
A gift from her parents? No, they wouldn't give her something like that. Her dad wouldn't, at least. He would get them something useful. A cookbook, or work gloves. Her mother's gifts leaned toward naked little babies frolicking in a field of clouds or precocious animals existing in unnatural harmony. Not a featureless glass pillar.
Maybe someone Albert knew had given it to him. His clients tended to lean more toward gift cards to Texas Roadhouse or, if they had a wife, a bouquet of flowers. She shrugged and went back to the vacuum cleaner. She'd ask Albert about it when he got home.
"It's just standing in the middle of the kitchen!" Albert said into the phone. Shelby responded. "No, of course I didn't put it there, why would I be calling you if I had put it there?" He waited as Shelby accused him of lawyering at her. "It's not...that's not what lawyering is, honey, it's just a fact."
He walked around the glass pillar. He had walked into the kitchen and found it standing on its own. He touched it. "Huh, warm. And heavy. You didn't have it delivered from somewhere?"
He waved his hand after Shelby responded. "Well, you've forgotten about orders you've made before. Remember those pillows?" He pinched the bridge of his nose. "I don't know if you'd be sure to remember a big glass item. Especially since you can't seem to remember what you wanted to do with it."
Shelby spoke. "Well, where the hell did it come from, then?" Albert asked as he circled the pillar. "And what do I do with it?" Shelby asked a question. "About a foot high...a few inches on each side. What if I put it at the bottom of the stairs next to the lamp? That would look nice." Shelby asked a question. "I don't think I can throw something like this away, Shel. The garbage guy probably wouldn't like it all that much."
"What the fuck is this?"
Albert parked his car in the driveway and shut it off, stepping out and glaring at the glass pillar sitting in his spot in the garage. It came up to his eye level. He laid a hand against it. Heavy. And hot. "Honey? Are you inside?"
A minute later Shelby stood next to him. "I've never seen it before," she said. "It's so big. Where on earth did it come from?"
"Maybe the Nicholsons saw something," Albert said. "I hope it isn't dangerous."
"It's just...." Shelby pressed her fingertips against it. "Ah. It's hot. How...this is too weird. Let's try to get it against the garage so you can get your car in." Shelby went over to a messy workbench and found two pairs of gloves. Together they worked the pillar over to the side of the garage, carefully placing it upright against the wall. As they did so, Albert touched his arm against it, and his skin turned bright red.
"Ah! Damn it! Honey could you-"
"Be right back," Shelby said and raced inside for ice. Albert stood in the garage and made slow breaths, clearing his mind to ignore the pain.
Shelby returned bearing an ice pack wrapped in a towel. "Here. The closet--what the hell is that?"
Albert followed her gaze. A glass pillar a little bit taller than his eye level leaned against the garage wall. "I don't know. I've never seen it before."
"You really don't know where you got it?" his wife Shelby asked.
"Honeybunch, I've never seen this before. Maybe one of your friends gave it to us?"
"If one of my friends had given it to me, we would know. They wouldn't let us forget it." She took the glass pillar from him. "I'll just throw it away."
"No need to do that," Albert said. "Why don't we put it on the bookcase?" Albert pointed. A dark wood bookcase behind him had plenty of places for knick-knacks. "Just to take up a little bit of space."
"Doesn't bother me," Shelby said. "How about some of my world-famous homemade pasta for dinner?"
"Don't you mean world-infamous?" Albert asked, and Shelby rolled her eyes.
A few days later Albert stood to find a book. The case he was dealing with wasn't what you would call big, but there were still plenty of details to work out. He saw a small glass pillar on the shelf, a few inches in height, and an inch both wide and deep. He frowned at it, and picked it up, turning it over. "Hmm."
When Shelby got home from work he asked her about it. "Don't know," she said. "I've never seen it before. Maybe one of your clients gave it to you?"
"I certainly don't remember anything like that," Albert said. "Usually there's a note or something like that. I don't think any of my clients gave me this. It's a little bit too...."
"Classy?"
"I was going to go with subtle. There's no detail to it." Albert reached for it. "Huh. It's heavy." He held it up to his face. Shelby's image warped on the other side. "But still transparent, for the most part." He put it back on his bookcase. "Weird."
A few days later Shelby pushed the vacuum cleaner through the living room and bumped the table next to the couch. Something fell over, and she grumbled to herself as she killed the cleaner. She went to the table and found a glass pillar, several inches high, lying on its side. Wordlessly, she picked it up and sat it upright. She stood glaring at it for a minute, clicking her tongue a few times.
A gift from her parents? No, they wouldn't give her something like that. Her dad wouldn't, at least. He would get them something useful. A cookbook, or work gloves. Her mother's gifts leaned toward naked little babies frolicking in a field of clouds or precocious animals existing in unnatural harmony. Not a featureless glass pillar.
Maybe someone Albert knew had given it to him. His clients tended to lean more toward gift cards to Texas Roadhouse or, if they had a wife, a bouquet of flowers. She shrugged and went back to the vacuum cleaner. She'd ask Albert about it when he got home.
"It's just standing in the middle of the kitchen!" Albert said into the phone. Shelby responded. "No, of course I didn't put it there, why would I be calling you if I had put it there?" He waited as Shelby accused him of lawyering at her. "It's not...that's not what lawyering is, honey, it's just a fact."
He walked around the glass pillar. He had walked into the kitchen and found it standing on its own. He touched it. "Huh, warm. And heavy. You didn't have it delivered from somewhere?"
He waved his hand after Shelby responded. "Well, you've forgotten about orders you've made before. Remember those pillows?" He pinched the bridge of his nose. "I don't know if you'd be sure to remember a big glass item. Especially since you can't seem to remember what you wanted to do with it."
Shelby spoke. "Well, where the hell did it come from, then?" Albert asked as he circled the pillar. "And what do I do with it?" Shelby asked a question. "About a foot high...a few inches on each side. What if I put it at the bottom of the stairs next to the lamp? That would look nice." Shelby asked a question. "I don't think I can throw something like this away, Shel. The garbage guy probably wouldn't like it all that much."
"What the fuck is this?"
Albert parked his car in the driveway and shut it off, stepping out and glaring at the glass pillar sitting in his spot in the garage. It came up to his eye level. He laid a hand against it. Heavy. And hot. "Honey? Are you inside?"
A minute later Shelby stood next to him. "I've never seen it before," she said. "It's so big. Where on earth did it come from?"
"Maybe the Nicholsons saw something," Albert said. "I hope it isn't dangerous."
"It's just...." Shelby pressed her fingertips against it. "Ah. It's hot. How...this is too weird. Let's try to get it against the garage so you can get your car in." Shelby went over to a messy workbench and found two pairs of gloves. Together they worked the pillar over to the side of the garage, carefully placing it upright against the wall. As they did so, Albert touched his arm against it, and his skin turned bright red.
"Ah! Damn it! Honey could you-"
"Be right back," Shelby said and raced inside for ice. Albert stood in the garage and made slow breaths, clearing his mind to ignore the pain.
Shelby returned bearing an ice pack wrapped in a towel. "Here. The closet--what the hell is that?"
Albert followed her gaze. A glass pillar a little bit taller than his eye level leaned against the garage wall. "I don't know. I've never seen it before."